Addressing Puberty with Your Pre-Teen

Discussing Puberty can be Intimidating

Cultivate an open and supportive atmosphere where your kids can grow into thriving teens.

Puberty marks the beginning of significant physical, emotional, and psychological changes for your pre-teen. Talking about puberty can be challenging for parents, but it’s crucial to create an open, supportive environment where your kids feel comfortable discussing the changes they’re experiencing. Parents must effectively address puberty with their pre-teen in a way that shows compassion and fosters trust and understanding.

Start the Conversation Early

Initiate conversations about puberty before significant changes start happening. Pre-teens might already be aware of some changes but may not fully understand them. Many kids begin showing signs of puberty between the ages of 8 and 13. By starting the conversation early, you provide them with information before they start experiencing these changes firsthand.

The Facts of Life series by Trees of Hope offers age-appropriate guides for each stage of your child’s development.

Use Age-Appropriate Language

When explaining puberty, using language that matches your child's developmental level is vital. Avoid overly complex scientific terms unless your child is ready for them. You can start with basics and gradually introduce more detailed information as your pre-teen grows. Use everyday moments as opportunities to explain certain aspects of puberty. For example, you could mention body changes while shopping for new clothes.

Create a Safe and Non-Judgmental Space

Children might feel embarrassed or nervous when discussing puberty. Reassure your child that it’s a normal part of growing up and that they can ask you anything without fear of judgment. It’s important to show genuine interest in their thoughts and questions. Don’t dismiss or belittle their concerns, no matter how small they seem. This builds trust and ensures they come to you with future concerns. No topic should be off the table!

Normalize Puberty

Explain to your child that everyone goes through puberty. Growing body hair, voice changes, or menstruation are all part of becoming an adult. Help alleviate the anxiety or self-consciousness they may feel. Encourage your preteen to appreciate their body’s natural progression and remind them that these changes make them unique and strong.

Address Both Physical and Emotional Changes

Puberty doesn’t just involve physical changes like growing taller or developing physically. It also involves emotional shifts, such as mood swings and hormonal changes. Help your pre-teen understand that these feelings are normal and will stabilize over time. Let your child know that it’s okay to feel confused or overwhelmed and that everyone, including you, went through these emotions at their age.

Tackle the Hard Topics

Some parts of puberty can feel awkward to discuss. Shying away from these topics might make your child feel weird or taboo. Instead, try to approach these subjects with honesty and openness.

• Girl’s Changes: If your child is a girl, explain menstruation as a natural process. Help her prepare with supplies, like pads or tampons, and discuss how to track her cycle.

• Boys' Changes: For boys, explain erections and nocturnal emissions in a way that makes them feel comfortable asking questions. Let them know these things are normal.

Promote Healthy Hygiene and Self-Care

Puberty often introduces new challenges like body odor and acne. Teach your child about personal hygiene routines, such as showering regularly, using deodorant, and caring for their skin. Encourage habits like washing their face daily and changing clothes after sports to maintain cleanliness. You can also discuss how taking care of their body positively affects their self-esteem.

Maintain Ongoing Conversations

Puberty isn’t a one-time discussion. Keep the lines of communication open as your child progresses through different stages. Check-in regularly, offering advice and guidance as they navigate the physical and emotional challenges that come with growing up. Being available and approachable, even when your child doesn’t ask for it, shows that you're there to support them whenever they need it.

Fostering trust and open communication will help your pre-teen embrace the transition into adolescence with resilience and self-assurance. Talking to your child about puberty can play a role in preventing sexual abuse by opening up crucial conversations about the body. Parents are responsible for equipping their children with the knowledge, confidence, and awareness about their bodies that is necessary to protect themselves.

Trees of Hope offers an online prevention workshop for parents, caregivers, teachers, or anyone seeking to learn more about preventing child sexual abuse. Find out more about Trees of Hope’s Prevention Education Workshop for Parents.